Monday, September 22, 2008

Thank you Elder Hales

This weekend was our Stake Conference. Elder Hales came to speak to us & fill our cups.
I have been feeling very overwhelmed & inadequate lately. I have so much going on & don't feel that I am able to do any of it. I'm not only a reading aide this year, I am an AmeriCorps volunteer. That adds about the same as 3 jobs to my day. About 1 1/2 months ago we were released from the Primary Presidency. The other 3 have new callings, but not me. I have been feeling very glad for that as I didn't know how I was going to do everything as it was without a calling. Can I just say that made me feel guilty on top of it all. I was taught that you are never supposed to say no to a calling, & I haven't, & that you should always have a calling.

Then Saturday night Elder Hales said an amazing thing & I feel it was just for me. He talked about seeing a woman sobbing in a church parking lot. She was the mother of 5, pregnant again & the primary president. The program was coming up & they wanted her to do some elaborate thing that was beyond her at that time. She hadn't spoke to the Bishop or Stake President about it. Elder Hales told her he would see what he could do to help her. He spoke to the Bishop & Stake President. They saw the problem & said for her to do a nice simple program. Then he said, I hate it when I see these mothers so overwhelmed. I do not understand why the husbands are not asked, " is this a good time for your wife to have a calling?". If it is not, then don't give them one. You don't have to be so overwhelmed.
I now know it is ok for me to not have a calling at this time, not want a calling at this time, and it is OK for me to not feel guilty about that. I wouldn't be good as a mother, wife, reading aide or whatever the calling would be. I am at peace with this. Thank you Elder Hales.

9 comments:

tawnya said...

Not trying to rain on your parade, but why do the husband's have to be asked? I hope that isn't a "clear it with the husband" kind of thing, because that would have just pissed me off - I'm sure you don't get the woman saying "you know, it's not a good time for my husband to have a calling right now. He's needed at home helping me." and the leaders taking that seriously...

Sorry. Such a rant.

Sandra said...

Tawnya, I think he means for those callings when they actually have to ask the spouse if they can support the wife in the calling (meaning help out at home while she is serving)- presidencies come to mind.

And I know how you feel, Loretta. As much as I would love to have a calling, right now I just could not do one more thing. I have nothing leftover to give, and barely have enough for my kids. But when that is different, then I will be happy to have a calling. (well different than the three that I have- substitute, enrishment pianist, RS sub pianist)

tawnya said...

That BARELY makes it better. I just think you can ask your spouse yourself when you go home to pray about (and talk it over w/ your spouse) the calling. I think leadership 'clearing' it w/ the spouse themselves is wrong.

Ok. stopping now. Clearly I have issues...

loretta said...

No, he didn't mean 'clearing it with the spouse', he made that clear, but that sometimes, like me, you just don't feel like you can say no because you feel that you will go to the depths of Hell if you do. You'll go ahead & say yes even though you know you just can't do it, then you are overwhelmed even more than you were & found crying in the church parking lot with your head on the hood of your car in a foot of snow by one of the apostles. Right now, if asked, I would have said yes, but now Wynn would be the more likely one to say no, she just can't do it right now. Of course if that person insisted on yes, it would be their decision. Of course if I said yes right now, more often than not I would probably be found in the fetal position, sucking my thumb & chanting 'find a happy place, find a happy place'. So Wynn would say no, therefore taking the guilt away from me saying no, cause sadly, I would probably still feel guilty even after all this.

loretta said...

He did talk about how wrong the husbands are that use unrighteous dominion & say 'because I hold the priesthood & I said so'. He can't stand that either.
Does that make more sense of why I was OK with what he said? Because, like you, I would have been really upset about him saying I needed to get permission to do a calling! I don't 'get permission' from my husband to do anything.

tawnya said...

Yeah, that does make more sense (but then I didn't get that guilt - I've said no to a calling before...don't tell mom & dad!). I just have such a problem when someone calls and "needs" to talk to Isaac about asking if WE can give a talk or a prayer or whatever, etc. Luckily I have a nice husband who says, "I can, but I won't answer for my wife". Good Isaac!

(ps - I had so much fun writing about my dating the boy from Wyoming yesterday. I thought for sure you would have had something to say!)

loretta said...

Oh, it's coming, probably after work today. I just had to run. Yesterday was one of those find a happy place days!!!

loretta said...

Ya, I don't answer for Wynn & he doesn't answer for me. Can you imagine? We'd probably forget to tell the other one anyway! Wouldn't that be good?

tawnya said...

Ooooh. We've done that before. Not so happy! (I've taken to saying, uh call back & I won't answer & then just leave a message. It's just easier...)